guitar

In the ongoing battle to make myself more interesting I bought a guitar. Well, it's not just about becoming more interesting, I was also cripplingly bored at the time and this seemed to offer a great new hobby to take up for a couple of months. When I bought the guitar I also got myself a DVD of lessons. Well, the hilarity as I tried to tune the guitar. Turns out I'm pretty much tone deaf.
I can hear the difference in the notes as I turn the key, but I can't hear if it's the same as the note coming out of the TV. No idea at all. I wasn't even close. A friend helped tune it in the end and must have twisted the little key 5 times around. It had baffled me. I didn't see this coming at all.
Then another obstacle. Now, this might be down to technique. I'm not sure. However I am having significant problems with putting my fingers on the strings. Well, that's not true, the problem is putting my finger tips on only one string. I have fat finger tips. Too big to play a standard guitar. I think I'm retaining fat in them. I don't know what excercises to do to reduce the weight there. They don't even measure fingertip fat when you get a bodyfat analysis done in the gym. I might have to get liposuction, or tiposuction as I'm sure it's called, if it exists.

My sister, Zoe, and neice Ella, share a laugh over cocktails after a busy day in Tenerife. The girls have got to relax somehow. "Ha, ha, ha, good one mum, now get another round of juice in."

Here's me doing my stand-up comedy. This is just a test picture.

old 97's

I'm listening to this band from Dallas, Texas called The Old 97's and really liking them. Lyrics like
"success on someone elses terms don't mean a fucking thing".
"it's hard to tell if life is a burden or a gift" (highly mood dependent that one.)
"heaven is a place ...
where the things that are important don't take any time at all."
"where everything is weightless."
"up here we'll never fight at all."

ego

I saw this great site that has lots of buzzwords and jargon which I enjoy. http://www.wordspy.com/

I just misheard someone and instead of "ecosystem" I heard "egosystem". This would be a series of people whose combined egos allow them to fail to see beyond their own small world.

In Search of Nick Drake

BBC - Radio 2 - Lost Boy: In Search of Nick Drake

If you like Nick Drake this is a nice documentary on him from the BBC.

partner in crime

Darn it.

I used to like that phrase. To be looking for a "partner in crime". Seems like it is an increibly unoriginal idea. I'm actually ashamed that I thought of it as well.

Ashamed especially when I'm looking for dates online and I see others with a similar idea. However, online daters take note - walks holding hands on the beach isn't a crime, neither is watching DVDs on a Sunday night with a nice bottle of red wine.

closure

Yes, I think that I just need some closure on my last relatioship. Well, I say closure, I mean revenge.

not in that way

I'm sure we've all heard that phrase that kicks us in the genitals. "I like you but not in that way". Man, that's a killer phrase. I think that that those of us that have been on the receiving end of it should reclaim it, in the way that the gay community reclaimed Queer and the black community made "nigga" their own. This happens through using it all the time. It loses its potency, you see. I've started to pepper my conversation with "yes, but not in *that* way". So, did you like that movie? "Yes, but not in that way" (and the face has to be slightly pained and patronising at the same time as saying that.) Do you like John Kerry as a presidential candidate "Yes, but not in *that way*" (a slightly more incredulous look on your face).
Did you enjoy your dinner.
Yes Mum thanks, but not in that way.

plans

My 23 year old sister asked me if I had a five year plan. "No ... do you?", "Yes" she replied. Crap.

newport beach

So I'm in Southern California for the first time. It's really fucking beautiful I can tell you. Really. I drove up through Laguna Beach which is where E is from. What a place to grow up. For someone who grew up in Ireland it really does look like something out of a movie. It is a movie set. Even the people wandering around look like movie extras. The women are beautiful. The boobs can't possibly be real. The guys all have a little edgy facial hair.
This evening I drove out to Newport Beach. I totally missed the best part of it when I was driving around in the dark last night. This place also is kick ass gorgeous. Eye bleedingly beautiful. Stomach achingly beautiful. I hate that I am seeing these things on my own. Going to these beautiful places on my own only serves to remind me of how solitar so much of my life has been. It feels as i I need to avoid beauty until I have a beauty to share these experiences with. I'm sure that feeling won't last, but it's a strange one nonetheless.
Currently listening to Kings of Leon. lyric "...people feel so cold whenn they're dead...". Great band. Listen to them.

online / offline

So, I've been thinking about the online dating thing some more. It's a phenomenon that I have huge respect for. We no longer have a village green to gather in, places of worship are not in vogue as places to congregate. The workplace works for some people, bars and clubs for others. The internet provides a new gathering place for people wanting to meet people. It's a pretty decent system. I would like to extend what happens on line to the real world. On the internet the ladies are there, on web sites basically saying - ask me out, I am available. take me on a date - I'm 29, aquarius, and spiritual but not religious. I'd like to see women who are single and would like to have a boyfriend, and there are some, despite what they tell me in bars, walk around with a sign on thier backs, no actually make that on their fronts, stating that they are available with a brief overview of thier personality, their age, weight and height become irrelevant, that saves some space - but I can see, favourite movies, bands she likes, things I might find in her bedroom. Whether she wants children or not. This would be a very effective system. I'm not sure where to meet a woman any more. I'd feel wierd to go up to a woman on the street and just ask her out. It might seem intrusive. But if she has a sign on her then it'd be ok. Perhaps that would be too obvious. Women would be hassled too much. Maybe if the signs were secret. So, the web site has an offline version whereby you wear some kind of a secret sign that tells other members that you are available and a couple of pertinent facts about yourself. Maybe a special hat, or a secret scarf what only other members would recognise. Wouldn't that be great. It'd be like being a spy and you're on the look out for other spies. It would mean that the women would have to start rejecting you in person rather than just not replying to your emails. Hey, it's not a perfect system yet, but the potential is massive. I wish I had this idea in 1998, I wouldn't be working now, and I'd probably have a girlfriend.

voting

I don't have a vote in the US election as I am not a citizen. Whew. Lucky me I don't have to go through that agonising decision making process. I'd have to read up on all the issues and everything.
One woman that I made the mistake of having one date with, said that the fact I'd even heard of Al Franken made me a liberal. Ignoring the fact of course that she had heard of him and was "in love with George Bush". Dumb republicans.

smelling good

The girl turns and says ... "how come you always smell so good?"
Well, interestingly it's a pheromone spray that I bought on the internet. Some of those things actually do work.

bay to breakers

Every year San Francisco puts on a unique event. What started out as a race, that evolved into a fun run. Now it's a whole lot of fun run. 70,000 people take part in this, a few run it. Many treat is as a parade more than a run. They dress up in costume and bring loads and loads of booze. They start drinking at 7 a.m. and continue through until lunch time. It starts out on one side of t he city and ends by going through Golden Gate park and ending at Ocean Beach. So that's 7 miles of drinking. Many groups get together and manufacture carts that become ever more elaborate each year. People used to use shopping trolleys with a keg in it and maybe a few streamers on it. This year I saw a group that had a ping pong table that they pushed all the way through the city. It had a couple of kegs underneath it. Others had barbeques on them. Someone else had a big babies cot with about 10 guys following it wearing nappies.

One of my other favourite sights was the group of very elderly folks that had clearly been pushed out from some retirement home or another. They looked entirely disinterested as these wave of humanity poured past. They held up hand drawn signs on pink paper that had flowers on them and inspirational words like "Keep running", "Run like the wind". It was hilarious. They gazed, expressionless ahead with their signs held up, waking frame in front of them. I have no idea if they even knew what was going on.

This was the first time that I've ever seen women peeing behind trees. Now, I'm not talking about women running off into a forest to answers natures call. This is about watching a woman dressed as wonder woman darting from the parade with an escort of four other super heroes and squatting next to a tree about 5 feet from the main pathway through the park. Truely this is womens liberation manifesting itself and women taking back something once seen as the preserve of men alone.

As I made my way home along the pan handle of Golden Gate park, I saw a very San Francisco moment. There was a band playing. A farily typical 4 piece guitar band, playing away to no one in particular. Beside them, and I mean like 5 feet away, there were two people fencing. Dressed up in the full white gear and masks and all that, lunging at each other with swords. On the other side of the fencers were 3 people doing Tai Chi. There syncronised smooth movements were quite the contrast to the sports and music going on around them. This threesome of performances didn't draw a crowd of any size at all. This is a remarkable town.

online dating

So I've tried online dating a bit over the last year or so. Met some great women, had some good laughs. Had a great relationship that deeply effected me for the better. It ended, but I got a lot out of it. Some relationships drain you, but ultimately I left that one more complete and a somehow smarter person.

I've learned a few things. All the women are 15-20% less cute than their photo. "Warning; Objects in profile are less cute than the appear". For women that don't post a photo I don't know what that means. I only hear back from about 1 in 4 or 5 that I contact. It's strange. I got a woman like the woman I dated last year by doing nothing. She emailed me and is gorgeous, funny and smart. Then I contact women out of sort of curiousity and get nothing back. I literally think to myself - I've been rejected by better women than you and don't let it bother me.

A friend has just signed on for J-Date and after some mixed success on other online dating sites he has hit the motherlode. He is getting contacted all over the place, they're emailing him, IM'ing him. It's great for him. He's lovin' it. So, in a radical measure I've decided to hack my foreskin off and sign up. My jewish friend suggested that I display my bloody penis in my profile as a sign of my committment to my new faith.

ipod woe

It's amazing how I've become dependent on my iPod. It is a great device. Now, alas it is broken. Worse I think it's my own fault. I slept with it. A sure fire way of runining any friendship. What happened? I think I rolled over on it in my sleep is what happened. It is crushed. Crushed. I am ashamed to bring it to the Apple store.

If they know that I've been negligent perhaps they'll take it from me. Put it in Applecare or something. I'm an iPod abuser, or at least guilty through negligence. Once I left it in a car on a sunny day while I ran in to the shops. I was only a few minutes. Cars can really heat up in a short time, I really didn't mean any harm.

iPod, dear iPod. The only good thing is that if it is broken I could get a new better one. That's kind of what happened with my phone.

day 1

Time to start blogging. This phenomenon of the web that everyone can write to is interesting. I think that there will ultimately be too many people writing and not enough people reading. Too many chiefs. Still hopefully this will track some of my thoughts during the coming period. I'll try and keep it light. The deeper darker stuff will remain buried in my psyche.

I bought myself a guitar a week or so ago. So far I can play "3 note rock" from the song book. I'm wearing out that bottom string. (They are called strings aren't they?)

I'll try and make this the public diary of my times in San Francisco, and perhaps a place to voice the occassional opinion should I discover some issue that I have an opinion on. I hate how long it takes to get a green card. I can tell you that. But enough politics.