excercise?

Things are getting bad re: me and excercise. It's been a while since I've hit the gym. Just now I had what I think can be counted as a moment of desperation. I caught site of myself in the mirror and thought I was looking a bit "jowely". Eating gum at the time I wondered if the chewing motion would actually be excercise for my jaw, and reduce that jowely look. Clutching at straws I think.

signs

I've written before about the billboard in San Francisco on Leavenworth St. in the Tenderloin. This month the guy has the following quote. "Guilt has very quick ears to an accusation". I'm not directing that to anyone in particular. I'm just saying ... is all.

Mrs America

Amazingly on TV there is a show on at the moment called Mrs America. To be in it, you have to be married, and hot. There are some women that are 30, one is actually 35 and has 3 kids. She's parading around in a swimsuit. This is in fact the second swimsuit round. But I wish I didn't know that, because then you can tell that I didn't immediately turn it off. The host is none other than "americas favorite mom" - Florence Henderson; the actress that played the mother in the Brady Bunch. She's not actually wearing a wedding ring. I think this should be extended more in to Ms. Divorced America, or perhaps Ms Single Mom America.
Anyhow - just wanted to say what bullshit it is.

heart V stomach

I was having a conversation with a very good looking woman that I was anxious to impress over lunch recently. We got to talking about appetities. She mentioned that she couldn't eat her whole burrito as she only had a small stomach. She held up her fist explaining that one's stomach is only the size of your fist. "Interesting" I commented ... lying. "It's also the size of your heart", she told me. "Hmmmm", I explained. "You don't think so?".
"Well I'm not so sure", I say, looking at my clenched fist.
"I'm not saying that I have a small heart, I'm very big hearted", I attempted to impress on her. "It's just that I'm not convinced that my heart is the same size as my stomach. If your heart gets bigger by drinking beer, then maybe mine is. It's just that I've yet to hear about anyone getting a 'Beer Heart', you know what I mean?". My stomach's got to be bigger than my heart.

proximity

A woman asked me the other day "what sort of women do you go for Greg?". I answered as honestly as I could that proximity became a quality that was increasingly important the drunker I got.

My neice Ella and I start our attack on my sister. Armed only with a palm frond (sp?) we begin with an aerial assault.

improv

I've just started a class in Improvisation. It's with a very good and well known theatre company, Bay Area Theatre Sports (BATS). The first class was last night. It's been very hot in San Francisco over the last 5 days or so. The theatre is on the third floor and was as hot as hades last night. We were running around. It was a sweaty old business. Still it was a really good laugh. The group, to my surprise was mainly men. Overwhelmingly men. I think it was 11 men and 3 women, one of whom was pregnant. I could be wrong. It was great gas. We were straight into the game playing and improvising. I for no apparent reason thought that there would be more sort of ice breaker excercises and spatial awareness and "pretend you're a raindrop", "act like a wild pig", kind of stuff that you hear about. Not this ... it was straight into being funny in a pose, working off other peoples actions. Real improvising. And you know what. Those people were damn funny. Class one and I was laughing. The teacher commented that watching a group start to improvise, and cast a little scene, and plot out approximately the idea, was like watching 6 year olds playing. We were "OK - I want to be Space Boy." ... "Well then I'm the teacher, and then you do what I say" ... "Then pretend that I'm an alien from Mars"... It was funny. Not one if us under 30, I shouldn't think. It was a throwback to childhood playing, pretending to be someone and just making things up ... and you know what ... it came to us all very easily.

people watching

It's a beautiful sunny day here in San Francisco this morning. One of the hottest of the year. I was sitting having lunch with a friend. A lady friend. I was saying how much fun it was to sit outside and people watch. That statement needed correcting. In fact I like to woman watch. That also needs correction. I like to attractive woman watch. You won't catch me gazing at an unattractive woman, unless she has some other feature of interest. Like a lizard or parrot on her shoulder. Those are not random animals I've chosen. I've seen both reptile and bird used by plain looking women to add to their interest level. People watching isn't as much fun for women I think. Women say that they are most interested in a mans sense of humour. It's hard to tell if a guy is funny or interesting from the way he walks down Polk Street in shorts and flip flops. Women should enjoy "People listening" rather than people watching. Listen in to conversations by guys to see how attractive they are to them by their sense of humour. However an attractive woman walking down Polk Street in a short skirt and flip flops is de facto interesting. Any hey, she might be funny as well.