kathleen madigan

Kathleen is a contestant on Last Comic Standing and I think she is one of the very best. Tonight she was talking about how you can tell when George W. is explaining things to us the way they were explained to him. You can always tell when one is coming because he says "in other words" about words that usually didn't need other words. Wonderful insights and angles this woman has. Proper comedy.

aging by squares

OK. So, I've put a little thought into aging again as my next birthday approaches. The numbers get higher. I guess that's a good thing. Glad to be getting older in many ways. Already wishing I'd done things differently when I was younger, and I'm not even that old yet. But there you go. I've thought of something to help with describing my age. From now, I'm going to age in squares. My next birthday ... I'm going to be 6 squared. That works out. I'm also glad that I thought of this when I am hitting a great square root. Also, that means the next change won't be for another 13 years. Wonder where I'll be then.

Last Comic Standing

I was watching Last Comic Standing last night on NBC. It's a good show, like Pop Idol, but it's for stand up comedians. The guy that won the last series was on last night used a varient on one of the jokes that I wrote here. I'm sure it was co-incidental but isn't interesting that jokes can be of a time. He had a piece about being good at video games but not with women, and how if flirting were a video game he'd be able to get the "cheats" on line and just press Triangle, right arrow etc etc. Which is OK, but I think my concept, while similar is actually a bit better. Which is encouraging. But he is a really great comic. Me, however, I'm about to hang up my scripts.

BOOKMARK THIS SITE!! Spinsanity - Countering rhetoric with reason

It's hard to know who to believe. (well kind of) This site gives a neutral view and tries to hold people accountable for the things they are saying. Won't actually effect anything because not enough people will ever read it, but it's worth a look. Spinsanity - Countering rhetoric with reason

more Elvises?

Why aren't there lots of men in their 30's called Elvis? You would have thought that someone so popular and widely loved would have influenced what people are called wouldn't you? I mean there are lots of Kylies coming through the system now. I've only met one so far in my life. It actually sounds ridiculous. Perhaps Elvis was just too iconic to have parents use that name. Is that it? Let me know if you know an Elvis. The one I know is Irish. It must be quite a burden.

etymology

I read something great today.
"When taking an oath, our biblical ancestors would place their hands over the testicals of a witness to indicate their sincerity and honesty. Words like "testify" and "testament" all derive from this unique association."

million to one

I was reading about that tragic incident(s) last week where the two Russian planes exploded or crashed in what must be a terrorist attack. One "expert" said that it was a "million to one"chance that it was a conincidence. You know ... I was hoping that it was considerably higher odds against two planes in a row having accidents out of the same airport within a couple of minutes of each other.

Footprint

AB said "I like my footprint", the other night. I wonder what sort of a footprint I'll leave.

Sometimes you see a billboard that just makes you stop and think. I almost fell off my bike laughing when I saw this, and made sure to bring my camera with me the next day for the ride to work. This is excellent advice from the people of Nextel. It'll have very different meanings for people from Ireland and the UK, than it will for Americans. Still, one can only do ones best. And the weekend is coming.

IDIOT!

I just heard a DJ refer to a song that he had just played as being "music to his ears".
That's right a song ... and it was "music to his ears". It was music. Therefore it was music to everyones ears. IDIOT.

rogaine

Rogaine have invented an amazing product and marketing strategy. You take it to prevent hair-loss. You have to start it before you go bald though. So you have a large percentage of men using it that aren't going to go bald at all, but are forking out $39.99 per month on the product. For them it appears to be working. Their hair isn't falling out. And that's the other part - you have to keep taking it. If you stop, your 'new' hair will fall out. Geniuses. I want to invent something like that.

new bit?

I love those old shows that look back on times past and help you reminisce, like VH-1 have a show – We love the 70’s, We love the 80’s, and we love the 90’s. The 90’s for christsake, I think it still is the 90’s.

“Remember when this was cool?” I still have that shirt. I like it.

I’m not ready to reminisce about the 90's just yet.

What I need is “We love last weekend”. That would be useful. That’s where I need help. Too often someone will say – so, what did you do last weekend, and it’s a real struggle to try and pull that information together.

Ah yes … memories. Good times.

It’s hard to remember details from far back. Those shows do help bring it all back.

Perhaps we need a TV show called “We love being in a Swiftboat in the Mekong Delta” to help folks remember what the heck went on there. Have you been following this story in the news about some of the Vietnam veterans that say they were there with Kerry. That he was chicken, and it wasn't "all that dangerous". That he didn’t deserve one of his purple hearts or some such thing.

Man, I would not like my resume to be analyzed the way Kerrys is being. Imagine a job you did 30 years ago coming back to you --- Those other boys on my paper route hated me. Now they’ve gone and started - Paperboyveterans for truth dot com.

They begrudged he fact I was awarded 3 apple tarts. I won those from Mrs O’Sullivan for being injured in the line of delivery duty. I fell off my bike. An injury is an injury. They weren’t even close to see exactly what happened. I was injured in the line of duty. Fell off my bike. They weren’t even within 50 yards of that accident. They didn’t see the dog run out.

We Love the'80's!!

There's a number of shows that look back on a particular decade and reminisce over the clothes, the crazes, the TV shows, the music and all that good pop culture stuff. It's fun to look back and laugh and the innocence, the naiveity of earlier days. There is on VH-1, "We love the '70's", "We love the '80's", "We love the '90's". We love the 90's!! It's a bit soon for that itsn't it? I thought it still kind of is the '90's. I'm not done with them yet. The memories are fresh and don't need to be reflected on. What's next "We love last Christmas"? "We love last week"? - actually that's probably fair. "We love last weekend" - would be a show I'd watch. Too often on a Monday someone will say - "what did you do last weekend?". Hmmm, that's a great question...ehm...hmm, I really need a TV show to help me remember what I was doing, which bar I went to, who I hung out with, perhaps even some clips of things I said. I think I'd enjoy that.

Trivia

One of my favourite things happened last night. I got into a conversation about etymology. Man I love that stuff. I found out what is now my favourite pieces of trivia, and it's trivia about the word trivia. Apparently, according to a guy I met in a pub last night, the word trivia comes from the italian tri via, or three roads. Some place where these three roads met people would meet to exchange goods, money and of course, information and gossip etc ... or Tri Via. I am slightly embarrassed by how much I enjoy that fact.

your company

She pulled back from kissing, and looked up at me. "Gosh", she said, "I really enjoy your company." "What? Macromedia?" I replied.

The Onion | CIA Asks Bush To Discontinue Blog

The Onion | CIA Asks Bush To Discontinue Blog

bored with your mum?

Is you relationship with your mother getting a little boring? Predictable? Start referring to her as your "birth-mother". She'll have something to think about, and tell the neighbours. It'll also make you seem somehow, more interesting.

select cities

There's a movie coming out this weekend called Garden State. It's going to be great. Therefore it won't have mass appeal. It'll be "arthouse". However, it was mentioned on a network TV show. The guy said, it's opening on Friday in "select cities". And you know ... the cool thing about living in San Francisco ... I know it's going to be showing here. I don't need to look it up. It's on here somewhere. San Francisco. A select city.

greece

Is it just me, or does no one else give a shite about the olympics this year? Perhaps it's just the time of life or something. I used to be so excited about the olympics, now ... I don't know if I'll watch anything at all. Perhaps if there's an Irish person doing something I might tune in. Was it my youthful enthusiasm, and subsequent cynicism and lack of sportive, or has it changed more than me? Are the kids of today looking up to all the various athletes of today. Hmmm, lets have a heated debate.

8 , 7

I know that I've been here a while. I know I've been watching too much television. I found myself counting something, and going 5,6, 7, 8 (7 central). That'll only really be understood by folks in the US. Well, I think so anyway.

There's an upcoming Comedy show on August 21st for those of you in the San Francisco area. The more the merrier. It's a good line up. 4 or 5 of them make a living doing this. There's a couple of us that are still, in Michelles words, volunteers.

eggs

The ladies need to keep their options open when it comes to men. They shouldn't over committ too early. As I said to a friend, you don't want to put all your eggs into one bastard.

comedy can kick ass

Did a comedy gig on Friday night and it was really good. It was a new room for me to perform in. I had low expectations but it turned out to be really great. About 7 friends of mine came along. Some of them have seen some real rubbish acts over the last couple of years (including mine sometimes), and have tended to bear that cross with good grace. I hate it when I'm the best, because I'm only quite good. It means the others were brutal. I don't manage to generate table slapping guffaws very often. But I'm alright. Anyhow Friday nights group of comics were really hilarious. For just $7 the crowd, of only about 40 people, maybe less, saw what was for me, TV quality comedy. Mark (can't remember his 2nd name) was great. Lots of good material, his line that worked great, and I can't remember how he got to it ... "God would be beside himself, and not just because he's ubiquitous". Another guy Mike Speigelman does a great bit about not having Tivo, but has an unemployed roommate, called Davo and he does his taping. He delivers that whole segment so well. Another guy, Robert something, had an energy level that I had not suspected from meeting him in the green room beforehand. I love the fact that I was in the green room. He was manic, his facial expressions were a sight to behold. He did really great. Anyhow, it was a great night. The good guys are doing this 6 nights a week. It really shows. Tight material that they know well. Meanwhile I'm still stumbling through my stuff checking up on my notes, speaking too quickly not giving people a chance to laugh. I should either try and perform more often and hone down some bits, or stop wasting my time on it. Perhaps the guitar will take over. Musicians get more action than comics anyway. Well know fact on the comedy circuit. The guitarist always gets the girl. OK, back to guitar practise, E, A, D, G, B, E. take it away...